“I don’t care if they hurt me, but they better not hurt my kids!” Why you need to stop thinking this NOW!

“I don’t care if they hurt me, but they better not hurt my kids!”

Why you should STOP thinking that NOW!

As a personal safety instructor, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had moms tell me this. It makes me furious to hear them say that. It also makes me wonder why they think this way.

Be honest, have you ever said or thought this too? I’m about to reveal to you 4 reasons you need to STOP thinking that way right NOW!

If you are like most mothers, your kids are your everything and you would do anything to protect them, even if it meant putting you own life in danger. It’s called “Mama Bear” instinct. While this is a very innate way to feel, you aren’t protecting anyone if you aren’t fighting for yourself first.

Imagine the following scene, you are leaving the park with your kids, as you approach your car, you feel a pair of arms grab you around the waist and start to drag you away from your car. Your children don’t realize this is going on because they are on the opposite side of the car fighting over who gets to ride “shotgun”. Do you still think its ok for the man to hurt you as long as he leaves the kids alone?

Are you going to allow the guy to whisk you away and leave the kids on their own to watch you be abducted by a stranger? Of course you aren’t! In my recent post, Your will to survive. Do you have what it takes? I explained why your will to survive is so important.

Here are the 4 biggest reasons you need to STOP thinking its ok for someone to hurt you but not your kids:

  1. YOU ARE WORTH STANDING UP FOR! You are worth the fight it takes to escape! Don’t forget that ladies. You need to respect yourself enough to protect yourself.
  2. You are the biggest role model your kids have who actually cares about them. Of course there are superstar athletes and musicians who are considered “role models”, but they don’t have the unconditional love for your kids that you do. So BE a role model and show and teach them that they too are worth standing up for. Whether its a burglar or a bully, they have to make that choice at some point in their lives. What example are  you setting for them if you simply give up in the face of danger? I’m not saying try to disarm a guy with a gun. I’m saying if you are being taken away, you only have 2 choices, be taken or fight!
  3. You are your kids’ world, just like they are yours. They would be lost without you. You are responsible for their safety to for a large period of their lives, but you are responsible for your own safety always! You cannot protect them if you cannot protect yourself, and even less if you choose not to protect yourself.
  4. Most attackers have no interest in hurting children. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen, but it if someone is attacking you, its probably money or tangible property they are after.

Consider the video that circulated a couple of years back. It showed a New Jersey mother being beaten by an intruder right in front of her daughter. She allowed herself to be beaten so she wouldn’t traumatize her child. How does that NOT traumatize a child? If they are witnessing a terrible act that you cannot prevent, you are not doing them any favors by allowing yourself to be beaten or killed. Fight for yourself and you kids. Then use it as a teaching tool. Even if nothing bad happens, have a frank and frequent discussion with your children that it is never acceptable for anyone to put hands on them in an inappropriate way. Teach them to be strong and independent with clear boundaries and self respect.

I hope you have changed your mind about how you think about safeguarding yourself. You have a choice. You can self talk yourself into thinking your life isn’t worth your kids’ future. Or you can be a positive thinking mom who, even in the face of fear, finds the courage to show her kids how to protect what is precious in life. Start with your own.

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